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I was hit harder than anyone else in our family by that one.I came so many times, imagining your hair in my hands, that handsome head between my thighs. My eyes would then open in the dark and I’d be holding nothing but thin air, alone with my tears. I’d tighten my fist, my nails piercing my skin, hard, until I’d bleed, hating myself, hating my life, though no one ever noticed the cuts. Why was I cursed like this? I didn’t know, I’d never know. I knew I could never have you, that there would always be a wall between us, a wall that only I could see. Each time you visited, part of me wanted to hide, it hurt so much to see you. But I couldn’t help it. I loved you so much.One day you brought back a girlfriend. I figured you’d be getting busy in college but knowing for certain made it so much worse. I could hear you fucking through the walls, could hear the bedsprings straining and swaying, could hear you both trying to stifle the sounds of your sex as she moaned your name, Thomas, Tommy. His wife is smoking hot and they have two teenage sons. The house they live in is older, but the cool thing about it is it has a laundry shoot. Having been there before I requested the spare room in the basement, saying I'd sleep better in a damper, cooler room! Every night after everyone was asleep I'd get up and rummage through everyone's dirty clothes until I found Veronica's (my cousin's wife) dirty panties! Of course the first night I had my pick of four pairs, but the next couple nights, I only had what she wore that day! Her panties were fairly clean, not much butt smell, very little pussy juice or pee stains, but was still exciting nevertheless to smell her scents! I'd jerk off and return the panties to the bin, no one the wiser! I spent two nights at a camp ground after that, and after settling in went for a walk around. I noticed that there was a young couple camping a couple sites down from mine and the girl was a hot BBW! She was mid-twenties and had a very nice big.
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